


The Stars Above

by milesofregrets



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Amnesty, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Oneshot, Panic Attacks, Post-Finale, TAZ Amnesty, duck needs a hug so i give him one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22593169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milesofregrets/pseuds/milesofregrets
Summary: Ned was gone.Aubrey was gone.The portal was destroyed, the lodge was empty, his apartment was quiet.And Duck was so, so tired.But he was not alone.-the ending of amnesty got me FEELING things in other wordsenjoy
Relationships: Aubrey Little & Duck Newton, Minerva & Duck Newton, Minerva/Duck Newton
Comments: 8
Kudos: 51





	The Stars Above

Aubrey didn't let go.

Duck knew it was a blessing and a curse of hers. She held on tight, with a heart so full of love to give, but sometimes it would trip her up, and he would find her feeling guilty, lost, alone, and there was nothing he hated more than seeing Aubrey Little, Lady Flame, resident spitfire, so destroyed. She was a force of nature, is what she was.  
Powerful and kind and spritely and brave.  
And she didn't let go.  
Instead, she grabbed tighter to the back of his jacket, face buried in his shoulder, the purple light of the portal illuminating her shimmering hair. Duck felt his chest twinge, and he pulled her closer, rubbing soft circles into her back with his thumb, trying to quell the sobs that rattled her body.   
He was never much of a hugger, but damn. If Aubrey didn't look just like his baby sister, and damn, if she hadn't wormed her way right into his heart.   
So he held her tighter.  
It was like that for a while.  
Duck relished in the warmth of her in his arms, painfully aware of the burning uncertainty that he may never feel it again, and after several minutes, she gently pulled away, eyes puffy and red with sorrow.  
"I don't want to leave you guys." she sniffed, looking to Minerva, and into the blue portal that shined softly with a welcoming glow.  
Duck tried to push down the lump welling in his throat as he looked softly at her.   
It hadn't really hit him before then just how young she really was. She was just a kid still, and she looked so fucking afraid, and so small, and although she was making the right choice, and she would be happy, it tore him in two.  
Duck made a soft, sympathetic noise.  
"Listen to me, kid. You're makin' the right choice, I promise you. That world, there behind that portal? They need you. They need your fire, and your bravery, and your big-ass heart, and you can't be gettin' all worked up over an old man like me and let it get in the way of doin' the right thing."  
Aubrey smiled a little, and took a shaky breath.  
"I know, Duck. I'm just... I'm gonna miss you, is all." she finally said quietly, turning to face the doorway.  
As she did, he felt his heart give another small pang at the thought of her being gone. It was stupid, he was a grown man, and he shouldn't be so damn scared of letting her go, but... it was the thought. The memories of his apartment, crammed with blankets and pillows and extra toothbrushes, piled with Slyphs, filling it with the noise of life as they crawled over one another to retrieve a game piece, or smashed a bowl trying to cook something, or just talked and laughed and smiled and were wholly and truly themselves.   
The memories of Aubrey, right in the middle of it all, her face lit up like a Christmas tree, her loud, joyous laugh filling the air as she wrapped her arms around Dani, or performed a magic trick.  
She was fire.  
She was life itself.  
And Duck would never stop missing her.  
"Aubrey?" he added quickly, if only to see her face one last time as she turned.  
"Yeah?"   
Duck paused.   
"Stay safe." he said softly, after a moment's hesitation.  
Aubrey smiled, and slid over to give him one last quick bear hug, before running back to the portal, her tears beginning to dry as she thought of the world in store for her.  
"I'll try." she sniffled with a smile, taking one last look at the room around her, and at Duck, before taking a deep breath and slowly walking through the doorway.

-

And then it was quiet.  
Billy was still, awkwardly respecting the moment. The machinery was dead, and no whirring and no clattering filled the void she had left in the air.  
Duck stared.  
He stared until the violet and blue lights burned his vision.   
He felt like his senses were all dulled, like he couldn't feel his own expression.  
It was so, so quiet.  
And he had already made up his mind.

It wasn't until a soft, heavy hand was placed on his shoulder he realized how long he'd been so catatonic.  
"Wayne Newton." Minerva said, far gentler and quieter than any other thing he'd heard her say, and if only for a moment, he marveled in her kindness and complexity.  
"Yeah, Minerva. I know." he sighed, shuffling his feet and looking to the blue portal. "I suppose you'll be wanting to follow Aubrey?"   
Minerva tilted her head quizzically, knitting her eyebrows together.  
"What makes you think that, Wayne Newton?"  
Duck hadn't expected that, and he huffed a little surprised breath.  
"Well, I just figured... you'd certainly fit in much better over there. More friends, more battle training... y'know. Better environment for a big alien lady." he chuckled humorlessly, refusing to meet her gaze.  
She softened, and turned to face him more directly.  
"Tell me, Wayne. Why is it that you have chosen to remain on Earth?" she questioned.  
Duck just wiped his nose with his sleeve and shifted on his feet, with another fake smile.  
"I don't think that should concern ya much, Minnie. It ain't about what I want anymore." he huffed, patting the hand that rested on his shoulder.  
"This is what I want. I would like to hear your opinion on the matter!" she smiled again, a bit of life returning to her voice.  
Duck laughed a little bit, and kicked a small piece of metal on the ground.  
"Fuck, Minerva. I mean...you really want to know?"  
She nodded vigorously.  
Duck sighed one more time.  
"It's... Look, I don't know. I don't know for sure, man. But... y'know, I do know a couple of things, here and there. I know I got a cat to feed, I got bills, I got a job. Hell, I got a shift to cover tomorrow. There's a vast open world out there, waiting to be explored, but... I've got the Monongahela, and my hometown, and some damn good french onion soup, and... God, it sounds stupid, but.. that's good enough for me. It's... it's home." he finished with a faint smile, fiddling with the frayed edges of the Pine Guard patch on his inner pocket.   
Minerva just smiled. Her grin was wide, and her face was understanding and unwaveringly kind.  
"I think that 'home' is more than good enough for me, Wayne Newton."

-

Home, it turns out, was a concept Minerva was still rediscovering.  
Her love and her never ending energy and enthusiasm were well met in the town of Kepler, so torn from disaster, and the Amnesty Lodge's somber and solemn last residents took her in with open arms as she worked tirelessly to rebuild.  
Duck wished he could be the kind of person she was. He watched her with a hopeful heart, and caring eyes as she picked herself up from the dirt and put a real, warm smile on her face. She was a sun, a star burning bright and bringing light to all around her, and as it turned out, he was perfectly happy to be her moon. He helped her out on the rare days she was feeling tired, with quiet gestures and things he doubted she noticed: washing the dishes while she was out, replacing some wilting flowers with ones that smelled nice and filled the air with springtime, and ushering her down to watch the Earth T.V. that fascinated her when he could tell she was running thin.  
It wasn't until their fourth day back that it had all caught up to him.  
He was alone. Minerva was out buying groceries, (Duck would have done it himself, but they didn't actually need groceries, and he claimed he would play no part in Minerva's quest to try all of Earth's strangest supermarkets foods.) and the house was quiet. The blinds were drawn closed as the dark clouds of a rainstorm began to grow outside. The only thing Duck could busy himself with was folding laundry, neatly stacking Minerva's massive tank tops and cargo pants (the only pants that would fit her), until the first telltale drops began pounding on the window, and he pulled out a book, too weary to continue meticulous work.

The bookmark that fell out of it was nothing noteworthy. He had several, and they were just cheap hand-out souvenirs- nothing that should have sent him spiraling like it did. Perhaps it was that everything had just been piling up inside him, and he was missing the only people who he trusted to understand. Perhaps it was the fact he'd been purposefully ignoring being alone with his thoughts; the loneliness, the guilt, the aimlessness.   
The grief.  
And so when the bookmark came falling out, gently fluttering to the ground and displaying in messy, red block letters,   
"Visit the Cryptonomica!"  
Duck began to shake.

His thoughts were vague, nothing if not just a swirl of strong emotions, and of regret and blame that caught up in his throat and forced a dry, ugly sob from it. His hands were gripped around the bookmark as if it were a lifeline, and his vision blurred with the first tears he had spilled in months. (He regretted not crying at Ned'd funeral. At the time, it was like the most obvious thing in the world to him: He had to be strong for Aubrey. He had to be strong because Ned wouldn't want him to fall apart. Duck wasn't ashamed of tears, but... he was ashamed of letting his friend down, and he was afraid if he gave in, he might give up.) And thoughts like that began to grow and grow in volume in his mind, and he stood up, trying to find something, some distraction, some way to stem the flow of stimulus, the fear and the pain, but instead he leaned against the wall with a raking sob and found himself curled against the side of the chair, jaw set and hands shaking as he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. It was a sorry sight, but Duck couldn't think of that. He couldn't hear or feel and see anything but Aubrey's face, bloody and hallowed when he returned from the telescope, and Pigeon, kneeling behind jail bars, and monsters chasing his friends through the dark where he could do nothing to help, with no Beacon and no powers. It was crushing and he felt his breathing quicken, his heartbeat thrum faster and faster, his tears spill out hot and regretful, and his silent sobbing grow more and more intense-  
Until two large hands gently wrapped around his shaking wrists and lifted them from his face. He flinched, and then heard a shushing sound.  
"Duck Newton." said Minerva, in the same soft tone she had used the day of the decision. (She used his nickname- she must really have been worried.) "Do not be afraid, Duck Newton." she whispered.  
Her tone was so astoundingly gentle, deep and calming, as gentle as the arms as she held him up in, looking into his frightened, puffy eyes and breathing deeply to get him to do the same. Duck felt the panic release it's scraping claws from his pounding heart just a little as he let his gaze focus on the woman in front of him, and he sank into her embrace, curling in on himself.  
"M-Minerva, I-" he began, cutting himself off with a flow of tears as she scooted closer on the floor and nestled him into her grasp.  
"Do not worry, Duck Newton. I will let no harm come to you."  
He felt some kind of ironic humor as he felt himself, frail and brittle in her strong arms, release some of the tension in his shoulders, and his thoughts began to regain form.  
He thought, with clarity, about Ned.  
He remembered his face.  
He remembered his voice.  
And for the first time in many years, Duck closed his eyes, and let himself cry.

He didn't keep track of how long that lasted for.  
Minerva had infinite patience, holding him firmly and gently, tracing patterns into his palms and speaking softly to his panic until the storm had passed, and until Duck regained his own sensibilities enough to sit back on his own and stabilize his own breathing.  
"Minerva, I'm- Fuck.... I'm sorry, I..." he choked out, still hiding his head in his hands.  
Minerva straightened her back and placed her hands strongly onto his knees.  
"I require no apologies. I simply did what was right."  
Duck sniffed.  
"No... you, uh- Look. I'm.. I'm sorry you had to see that- it was... I don't know. Just.. Shouldn'ta been- hm." he whispered, getting quieter and quieter throughout the sentence until he could barely be heard.  
Minerva scooted across the carpet to sit beside him, her eyes soft and understanding.  
"You have experienced trauma, Duck Newton. It is understandable to be upset. Do not feel ashamed."  
Duck did not protest as she draped a blanket over his shoulders and actually leaned into her, if only slightly.  
"Hell, Minerva, You've... you've just seen so much- so much shit, 'n this is just.. It's so small. It's all so small." he said, voice tiny and lost in a way he hated.  
Minerva hummed thoughtfully.  
"I have not lived my whole life in desolation, Duck. I have seen many small acts and laughed many a times, for the life I have lived has been full and long. Nothing is too small for kindness, I have now learned."  
Duck was quiet. Her words rung in his ear- always perfect, always wise, and he could not help but believe he did not deserve them.  
"I... I miss 'em so much, Minnie. I-It's all so ... empty. And it's just... it's over. And hell, it's selfish of me... I know, but I... I feel like... like there's nothing left for me. And I hate that feeling, Minerva." he confided, knotting his fingers in the carpet, and tucking his shoulders in. "I helped save the world. And... it's... it's like I don't belong here anymore."  
Minerva looked so painfully sorry and sad at his words that he almost regretted telling her.  
"I spent my whole life running, Minerva. And when I finally decide to DO something about this shit, I-I lose... everything." he sighed out, words he'd been so afraid to say for so long sticking in his throat.  
Minerva just closed her eyes, and nodded.  
"This may be hard to believe, Duck Newton, but... I understand." she murmured, wrapping her arms back around him, this time catching him too tired to protest.  
He felt more tears drip down his cheeks, but in the warmth of her embrace, he couldn't find it within himself to shift and clear them.  
"Perhaps we shall start small, Duck." she nodded, attempting to quell the fear in his eyes with careful strokes of her fingers through his hair.  
He smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes.  
Minerva rested her chin lightly on his head.  
"Perhaps we shall plant a tree."


End file.
